A Long Time Ago...

Bit of a "blast" from the past here...

Back in June of 2005, 6 year-old Cassie asked Jonathan if she could watch Star Wars.

Apparently, she'd found Jonathan's old VHS copy of the original Star Wars Trilogy (not the cheesy "Special Edition" re-release) and she decided she really wanted to see it.

So Jonathan popped the tape in and watched Star Wars with Cassie.

Aterward, Jonathan asked Cassie to talk about the movie. Here is 6 year-old Cassie's "review" of Star Wars, word for word.

(“Can you tell me what happened in Star Wars?”)

Uuuummmmmm. C3PO and R2dar2 went different ways. After they went different ways the little guys went and got ‘em, including R2dar2. They also got C3PO even though I didn’t see that part but I think it happened. But they shot R2dar2. They were going to sell C3PO too. They were going to sell both of them, but C3PO put his hands up and said "don’t shoot!" What are those little guys again? What are they called? (“Jawas”). Okay, they caught them - they’re the ones who shot R2dar2. And after that, little robots came and they did the red one, but just as they start going with the red one he says, "Stop, dad, maybe we should choose the blue one." So they put the red one back in place and started with the blue one, which was R2dar2.

Then they went with R2dar2 and found C3PO cause they, ummmmm, and they all tried to fit into the car. So he shows a movie of the girl and she does this (leans over) and it starts over and starts over and over. And so then he said, “I don’t like you,” cause R2dar2 wouldn’t finish the message.

And then there was this big, huge furry guy. Chewy. His name is Chewy. So I’ll tell you about Chewy. Chewy tries to stop the door because it’s a garbage can. Then the guy that owns him, he, like, kicked him into the hole. C3PO isn’t there.

(“Do you remember the Sand People?”)

Oh, they found the Sand People and one of the sand men, like, wait, before that they were riding on a kinda big moose. It’s like a cow with a long mustache and big horns on its head. And then the Sand People have points on their head somehow. Like, they had five spines on their head and kinda funny eyes like round and white and green inside. They can blend into the sand. Then he hurt him and this guy who tells him the force will be always be with you – the guy that disappeared – helped him up. And I remember the part where he kills him and he disappears. Magically. You can still hear his voice but you can’t see him. Somehow he’s invisible.

They go somewhere where all the robots are. They go somewhere where, like, then they go to this costume place where that furry guy is – Chewy – and the guy, what’s his name? (“Han Solo”). Han Solo, he has Chewy, he’s the owner of him. And he, like, shoots that guy and then he gets into a uniform – do you remember that part? Then he takes his hat off and he’s only in the uniform.

(“What happened?”)

He shoots the guy. The guy that, ummm, that has, like, things (puts her fingers on her head) and red eyes and kind of a funny mouth like this (pinches her mouth shut). The guy that has Chewy. He shoots the blue guy because he doesn’t like him. Pretend this is, like, the blue guy with the kinda funny mouth (puts up her hand) and pretend this is the guy that has Chewy (other hand) and he takes his gun out and shoots him and the guy goes like this on the table with his head (slowly drops her head).

(“Then what?”)

They have a big, huge car with LEGOS inside of it and there are big poles in it. And you open the thing and you take the LEGOS out and you shoot. And there’s these white guys who have guns that shoot red. You know, the guns that make the red things. And those things that go “mm-mmm-mmm” every time they move. “mm-mmm-mmmm.” And you fight with them. They’re better than swords. What are they called? (Light sabers). And I remember the part where they use the light sabers to fight. C3PO won’t use the remote thingy. He accidentally turned it off. So he couldn’t hear them. And then the thing stops and they’re like, “We’re okay! Wooo! You’re okay?! Well, that’s good!”

And I remember the part where they shoot the white guys and they go like this (puts her hands up and falls backward) and they fall down.

(“What happens at the end?”)

At the end the girl, like, hugs him and the guy holds her up and turns her around. And then he puts her down and he won. Every guy got shot except for, ummmm, what’s his name again? (“Luke”). Except for Luke. Everyone died except for Luke. And then R2dar2 was going like this (rocks back and forth). And Chewy was there and C3PO. So, that’s it.

(“Anything else?”)

Do you want me to tell you about Darth Vader? Where he walks with the white guys? But before they can get to him he flies away to his station. It’s, like, SO big. Then he had to land back on his ship. He would go like this, “Hoooooo-hooooooooo-hooooooo”. He has teeth in the front, like dark teeth. And he talks without moving his mouth, like this (talks through her teeth) “We must get the ship!” I can’t talk like that. Darth Vader died at the end.

And that’s all I can remember.

The force is strong with this one.